SEVEN WAYS TO LIVE WITH SUSTAINABLE HAPPINESS

In the world that we live in today, there are so many things that can make us sad, including seemingly positive things. For instance, a person may be making a lot of money but having a taskmaster as a boss will take the fun out of that or having to dedicate so much time to the job at the expense of family/meaningful relationships/further growth, can be a source of sadness. On the negative side, losing a loved one/job, struggling financially, facing challenges in your marriage, having a rebellious child, all these and so much more can lead to sadness, feeling low or unmotivated or discouraged.

Studies have shown that about 300 million people suffer from depression. And depression starts from that feeling of sadness.

So in a world filled with so many reasons to be sad, what then can one do to live a happy life? Thankfully, the list is endless but you can start with these seven ways to keep the smile on your face:

1. Give to those from whom you expect nothing—I know you have heard this so many times, and you may even be among those who don’t believe in giving but the truth is, giving works. The innumerable blessings attached to it asides, there is this joy you feel within when you give to a person and you know that such a person is not in the position to repay your act of kindness. The fact that you were a channel of blessing to that person, that you brought joy to that person has a way of making you feel good. Ask anyone you know who doesn’t have a problem giving and you will have a confirmation. 

2. Give to those that can help your destiny—Like it or not, you will always need help. It doesn’t matter your status in the society or how much you earn, there will always be instances where you will need someone. There are things you can’t do, heights you can’t reach, projects you can’t undertake, without the help of certain people. These people are called destiny helpers. They’re placed by God strategically to push you forward and in the direction He wants you to go. Some of these helpers are easily recognisable such as our pastors, prayer partners and spiritual mentors. Others  aren’t so obvious but when you finally recognise them, give to them. Spontaneous and unprovoked gifts go a very long way. The result is that when such a person is in a position to help you, he/she is quickly spurred into action. The person knows that even before he has helped you, you've already surprised him with good things, so of course he will have no reservations about helping you in your time of need. That’s just it, giving opens doors and keeps them open for you and when things go your way, why won’t you be happy?

3. Visit people at their vulnerable moments—Do not be the fair-weather friend; present in good times and absent in bad times. No, no, no. Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with them that mourn Romans 12:15. Your neighbour’s car got stolen, your friend lost his job, your colleague lost his wife, whatever the challenge, do not be nonchalant or uncaring. Offer words of comfort, visit, check up on them from time to time, give meaningful suggestions, make inquiries out of love, look out for better opportunities for them, take some food over to their house, you will be making a difference in their lives and also yours because you will be happy that you are making a bad situation better.

4. Sponsor people’s celebrations— It may be difficult for many of us to single-handedly organise a get-together to celebrate a friend's new job or bridal shower or new car or promotion. Fine. But nothing stops you from contributing. Your friend got a new job or just got promoted, go over to his house and take a carton of malt. Your friend is getting married, you can buy a cake for the bridal shower or give an amount to aid the wedding preparations. It’s not about how big or public the celebrations are, the fact that you are putting in effort to make them happy is enough.

5. Volunteer to carry out a community task—Fill up the bad roads, fix street lights on the entrance roads, organise for vigilantes, whatever you feel your community is lacking, volunteer to fill the gap. You may not even be the one who recognises a need in your community, it doesn’t matter. Let it be known that your support is certain. Be an asset in your community, let them feel your positive effect.

6. Obey God and show clearly that you have integrity—The importance of obedience to God can never be overemphasized. He is our Creator, our Father, our beginning and our end. Obey God, keep His commandments, follow His leading and your happiness is sure. Once God is pleased with you, everything else falls into place. Even when the storms of life come, you aren’t moved. I’m talking about that feeling you have when the Almighty God got your back!

Integrity is a product of obedience to God. When you are focused on pleasing God, it has a way of spreading to every area of your life, including how you relate with people. Your yes will be yes and you will always stand for what is right and you will be happy.

7. Make every moment a time for celebration; Laughter is medicine—Resist that temptation to wear all your worries on your face. Remember to laugh; laugh with others, laugh at jokes, laugh at yourself, celebrate even the littlest achievements. Laugh away your sorrows.

Begin to make a conscious effort to see joy in situations. Refuse to be sucked into that sad hole. Ever heard that saying, when life gives you lemons, turn them into lemonades? Exactly! I’ll go a step further to say when life gives you rain, see the rainbow; when life gives you an empty cup, see the opportunity to fill it up; when life gives you a problem, see the opportunity to proffer the solution. Choose to be happy.

SEVEN EXCITING WAYS TO LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR THAT WILL KEEP YOU HAPPY

Introduction

The command to love our neighbours as ourselves is recorded in the Bible as the second greatest commandment (Matthew 22:36-39; Mark 12:29-31; Luke 10:27-28). This reflects that God Himself recognises that we ought to love one another and look out for one other. It is therefore not a surprise that there are many good words associated with the word “neighbour” and its different forms. 

For instance, one of the synonyms of the word “neighbour” is friend. The word “neighbourly” is defined as characteristic of a good neighbour, especially in being helpful, friendly or kind. Further, synonyms of “neighbourly” include hospitable, warm, generous, cordial, considerate, supportivethatreflect what being a neighbour entails 

Remember that your neighbour is not just the family living closest to you but rather anyone in need who comes your way (Luke 10:29-37). However, you may not be able to show love to everyone but you can at least start with showing love to that family next door to you or living in your area or estate but not necessarily next door.

Here are seven exciting ways to show love to your neighbour. And as you practise them, you will also be happy:

1.  Pray with the family and intercede for them in your family prayer: A great way to show love to your neighbour is to pray with them and for them. Do you know of any challenges your neighbours may be passing through? Pray with them and ask for God's intervention on their behalf. After praying with them, still take out time in your own home to pray for them and be assured that firstly, God will indeed hear your prayers for your neighbours and secondly, God will reward your labour of love.

2.  Invite them to share a well prepared dinner in your home: Eating meals together is a good way to forge healthy relationships with your neighbours. You do not have to wait for Christmas before you can give your neighbours food. Be spontaneous and plan a large dinner with the neighbours, tell them “Next Friday, you are all invited to my house for dinner, come with nothing but an empty stomach” then go ahead and prepare a sumptuous meal for them.

It does not have to be expensive for it to be nice. For instance, you may serve with water instead of soft drinks. Make it a family affair, let the atmosphere be informal and friendly. Let the conversations flow and let there be sounds of laughter.

3.  Exchange pleasantries if possible daily: Greet your neighbours genuinely and with a smile. It may go a long way in lighting up their day. On the other hand, exchanging pleasantries may also cheer you up if you were unhappy prior to that.

Another important function of greetings is that they open doorways to effective communication. For instance, your neighbour may be sick and a “good morning, how are you doing?” will lead him to disclose that information and you may even be able to offer him good advice as to treatment or urge him to seek medical attention immediately.

4. Take a step to find out a few of their needs, material or financial, and meet them: There is joy in giving. Try to love your neighbours by giving to them. For instance, the world is presently battling a pandemic (COVID-19) and this has led to an extended period of lockdown. Many people who depend on daily sources of income have been crippled by this because they have been unable to go out to seek their daily bread. Some of these people are your neighbours and you may be fortunate enough to have alternative means of livelihood. Why don’t you extend a helping hand to your neighbours who are in need? You can offer them some resources such as foodstuff, money, detergent, soap and others, according to your capacity.

5.  Give lifts to those who do not have personal means of transportation: If you have a personal means of transportation, you can give lifts to your neighbours who do not have. Pick them up if you see them on the road or go the extra mile to ask if they intend to go out soon so that they may go with you. If they have children in school, you may offer to drop them off or pick them up together with your children.

6. Send jobs their way: If you have neighbours who are artisans or businessmen or who provide certain types of services, show them love by sending jobs their way, especially if you are familiar with their work and you have seen that it’s good. For instance, you may have a tiler as a neighbour, and a friend in your office has a building project on, you can suggest your neighbour to him for the tiling work in the house. You may have another neighbour who deals with rugs, curtains and other interior design items, you can also suggest their services. They need not even know that you are sending jobs their way, the most important thing is that you will be showing love and it will be rewarding to all parties involved.

7. Pay them occasional visits to establish a good rapport with them: It is now common to find people who have been neighbours for years and they do not know each other. Some do not know their neighbours’ names, others don’t even know them facially. Neighbours yet strangers.

Go out of your way to know more about your neighbours. This is not to say you will become a busybody. But make an effort and let them know that you care. Visit them, find out how they’re doing, offer help if you can, ask questions out of love and not to gossip.

Be the first to extend the hand of friendship to your neighbours and begin to walk in love daily.